first_summers | Riverview >> Inbox

Well, then I definitely don't mind walking.

[ She flashes him an amused smile before turning and heading into her room, taking just a second to slip the rose into the glass with the other before returning to him. If her steps are a little quicker than they might normally be, she's not about to admit it. He knows she's in love with him, he doesn't need to know she's nervous and excited and a little flustered by this whole first date thing. ]

Okay, walking time, let's go.

[He gestured for her to precede him, not entirely sure of the mechanics of this. Offering an arm seemed almost like second nature to him -- Dru had liked it, and he'd done it when he'd been alive. But she wasn't Dru, and she sure as hell wasn't any upper crust stuffy noblewoman. She was Buffy. His hands smoothed back down over his coat and he felt the pack of smokes there begging for him to open.

Not yet.]

So...

[Right. Dates had conversation.]

How's whatever you got placed for work going?

[ She's just as lost as he is about how this is supposed to work. Long strolls to restaurants for date night hadn't exactly been their style last time around, and what she'd shared with Angel hadn't even been the same as what she'd shared with Riley. Each person and each relationship is different -- she just wishes she had a better idea of where to start with Spike.

Leading the way out, she falls into step beside him before long, because there is somewhere to start. They're equals, he doesn't have to follow along behind her anymore. ]

It's good. Really good, actually. I never thought I'd be the mentor type, but I'm really enjoying working with these girls.

Just girls, then? Seems a bit sexist.

[He was poking. Prodding. Teasing, because that was all he knew how to do with her. He didn't really care what she did or who she did it wi-- no. That wasn't true. He didn't care about her work, but if she was happy... well. That he seemed to care about.]

[ She rolls her eyes but in a good way. His teasing doesn't bother her now, not when it's like this. Not when they're being nice to each other instead of cruel. ]

Sometimes young girls just need someone to talk to about things. I'm sure boys are the same, but that doesn't mean I can understand everything they're going through.

[ Most of it, probably. But after surviving a house of teenage Potentials and those few months of counseling at the high school, she feels better about focusing on the things she can actually try to understand instead of just guessing. ]

I'm also teaching a lot of them self-defense though, and it's easier to teach a tiny little girl to fight when you've actually been one.

Not much difference between a boy and a girl when it comes to teaching them to fight. And might I remind you, as a previously weak and useless human male, sometimes we need to learn how to hit and where it'll work best too.

[His hands tucked into his pockets instead of petting over them, fingers fiddling with the pack of smokes in one side and the lighter in the other.]

Only difference between the two really is where the sensitive parts are.

[ She glances over as he puts his hands in his pockets, taking note of it briefly before looking back up at those eyes that always saw more of her than she liked to admit. ]

You're not wrong. There is someone teaching the boys and helping them out when they need it, it's just not me. I've got my hands full enough with the group I have.

You with your hands full of girls? Sounds... kinky.

[He couldn't help it. Really. He could try, but that would take effort that he was putting towards other areas of trying. Like trying not to be a complete ass.]

[ He can't help saying it and she can't help the quiet laugh that escapes. It's such a Spike thing to say, and honestly-- ]

I really should have seen that one coming.

[His answer was a smirk, and he started to slow as they reached a corner with a red light.]

Still leave yourself too open, Slayer.

There are worse things.

[ She says it with a little shrug and slows as he does, looking around to admire the city at night. It still hits her sometimes, suddenly, that she's somewhere new. There are parts of her life here that feel just like her old one, and then others are so completely different. This isn't California, there's no hellmouth to protect, all she has to do here is be Buffy. It seems a bit like a miracle, really. ]

You know, sometimes it's hard for me to believe I'm actually here and all of this is real.

Yeah, I get that. It's a little... off for me too. A city that just draws people in. Knows about the unknown and adapts for it. You know, when I was in the hospital here, they had a whole floor with treated windows that wouldn't let the sun burn a vampire? How odd is that.

[ It is odd, but that's not the part she narrows in on, her brow furrowing as she frowns in concern. ]

Why were you in the hospital? Are you okay now?

Oh. Right.

[Whoops. He'd almost forgotten she didn't know.]

Ah, something went glitchy with the chip. Started misfiring and almost bloody killed me. So they removed it.

Oh.

[ The first thing she thinks about isn't worry that he's running around soulless without the chip to keep him from hurting anyone. No, that's the second thing. The first thing is the memory of when this happened before, when she had to watch him in pain and contacted the Initiative to get him help. When she chose to have the chip removed. ]

Dunno if it was from being brought here or that weird blip thing with the time glitch, but something mucked up.

[He took that singular 'oh' for disappointment, or her worry for the populace.]

Don't worry. I'm not out causing havoc, much as I might want to be. It does make accepting actual donors easier, though. No need for them to open a vein themselves.

I wasn't. Worried.

[ A pause, and then she sighed quietly, crossing her arms over her stomach. ]

Okay, I was, but just for a second. I-- The chip misfired before, a few months ago. For me, anyway. It got-- It was bad. I contacted Riley and they sent someone and... I chose to have it removed.

You chose?

[That had him frowning over at her, wondering at the choice of words.]

Didn't I get a say in it?

You were kind of out of it at the time.

[ He'd supported her decision afterward, but... what would he have chosen in the moment, if he'd been able? ]

It was either repair it or remove it. So I made the call.

Why not repair it. Seems all of you slept better with me on a leash.

[And oh, did that still rankle him.]

I didn't want to risk something going wrong again and not being able to fix it. And--

[ Her voice quieted and she looked down at the pavement, at her stylish heels that clicked when she walked and would not be at all conducive to running through graveyards. ]

I trusted you.

[The light turned green and it took him a minute to register that, looking over at her instead before he moved to start walking.]

I still don't get that. I mean, I got it when I couldn't hurt anyone, but when I could-- can?

[ She sees his feet start moving and continues on as well, quite for a little bit while they cross the street and carry on toward the restaurant. They're halfway down the next block before she manages to answer. ]

Honestly, you could give me a week and I still probably wouldn't be able to explain it. It just... is. I care about you. I trust you. Even now with you like this -- I believe in you.

I'm a monster, Buffy. I have been since I met Dru. Soul or not, I will always be a monster. It's what I am. It's what I have in me. Don't ever forget that.

And I have the watered down essence of a demon in me. What you are isn't always who you are.

[ There's a distinction there, even if it isn't always pronounced in some people. But it is in him. It can be, it has been. She's seen the good in him and that's enough for her to still believe in him. ]

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